Mother

I am afraid
She won’t wait for me
To know her better.
I have long planned
When I am not so damn busy
To sleep in the big bed with her arm around me
Telling me all about herself
Not what I was as a child
But her life when small, young, and meridian
How did she manage it as a woman
Bringing up four daughters and
Surviving two husbands and three sons.


Ever since I remember
I have been flying away
On various planes of language
That she labors for me to catch up with.
The one thing she truly misses, she says
Is the night school that was closed
Before she learned to write wo— the self
That have many strokes in it, she remembers
Never managed to sketch even half of them
She would gave anything
If only Chairman Mao could be back and re-open the night school
For women like her.

a o e y u ü
Standard Chinese
English
I am farther away
I do not even tell her
I am doing a Ph.D
In women’s studies
I am afraid to be asked
What do you do
I do not have a language
To make her understand
That women needs studies

She’s been counting the days
I have left for America.
I am getting shier of the phone
Do not know how to answer
When are you to be back?

Wait for me, wait for me—
I will come home—
With no language but egg noodle soup
To fill your bowl—
We will touch the rain—
Drink the smell of the corn field—
Watch the rainbow
Arching over
East—West—
North—South—
High—Low—
Left—Right
You by me and me by you